blueskiessunshine:

So I was in class and I was doing things for a few hours and I come back and the SPN fandom is just - I mean, what exactly are we doing?  People, come on.  If LGBTQ people are upset because they feel like they’re being marginalized and baited, guess what: they have a right to feel that way.  And the rest of us need to shut the fuck up about it.  If you have a uterus, you don’t appreciate it when people without uteruses tell you how to feel about them, do you?  I didn’t think so.  And it’s really no more complicated than that.

Thank you. I don’t mind the rational discussion about narrative on my dash (because the vast majority of people on my dash are rational, insightful and sensitive people) but 20 fucking years in fandom I’ve never seen the kind of bullshit I’ve seen in this fandom. There are male fans telling female fans how they’re supposed to feel about the treatment of female characters. There are straight fans telling LGBTQ fans how they should feel about potential baiting. There are white fans telling POC how they should feel about characters of colour. I mean, seriously.

I love this show and am willing to discuss problematic writing, but the shit I see in this fandom is inexcusable. Fandom is supposed to be the place repressed and marginalized people can come to feel safe, to have their voices heard. And this fandom (specifically some really fucking big names in this fandom) are shutting that down. They’re standing up and speaking for fandom as a whole when they have no fucking right. I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve had to blacklist this week. It’s just… revolting is what it is.

Seek refuge in fandom to escape anxiety. Fandom increases anxiety.

etharei replied to your post: Every so often I accidentally venture into this…

my non-fandom friends wonder why I spend so much time on tumblr because most of what they see is what you’ve described. IT’S SO HARD TO EXPLAIN FANDOM AS A COMMUNITY-PLUS-COLLECTIVE-CONSCIOUSNESS THOUGH.

Oh god, that is the best description of fandom ever. Community plus collective consciousness. YES!!!!!!!!!!!! We are the freaking hive mind.

Person:	So, what religion are you?
Me:	Fandom.
Person:	What?
Person:	No, I mean who do you believe in?
Me:	I BELIEVE IN SHERLOCK HOLMES
Person:
Me:	MORIARTY WAS REAL
Person:
Me:
Person:	So, you don't believe in angels-
Me:	Of course I believe in angels. Sam and Dean run into them all of the time.
Person:	Who?
Me:	They also run into demons all of the time too.
Me:	But that's why they have salt.
Person:
Person:	Well, I believe in the Lord-
Me:	The last of the Time Lords.
Person:
Me:	*starts spinning in circles* DOO WEEEEE DOOOOO

The thing they don’t tell you

There’s a lot of younger folk following me. People in their teens and early twenties. And the thing is, when you’re in your teens and early twenties, you think fanish obsession will wane over time. You might even take a long extended break where you stop doing fandom and think you’re free. You think you’ll maybe meet someone and do all the shit adults are supposed to do like get married and buy a house and have some kids and take yearly trips to interesting destinations and you know, you’ll be so busy living those lives that characters on television live that you won’t need or even want fandom in your life.

The thing is: this is a lie.

Oh, you will grow old and do the things you ought to do, like get degrees and meet people and maybe fall in love and have some kids and buy a hybrid car because you’re conscientious like that, and you’ll have a career and go to PTA meetings and all that bullshit, but you will never, ever be free from fandom.

Never.

Because fandom will own your fucking soul until the day you die. Take this from the 40 year old. You are fandom’s bitch now and you will remain fandom’s bitch until your dying breath. Because it doesn’t matter how old you get, OT-fucking-Ps will never, ever stop giving you butterflies. You’re going to be 90, sitting in an old-age home, eating fucking stewed prunes because you can’t shit otherwise, and you’ll still be bent over your laptop reading fic and swooning every time character A smiles at character B.

And you know what? It’s going to be fantastic.

Fandom and the cult of mean

I did a lot of thinking on my hiatus, about fandom and the role it played in my life.  And I did a lot of thinking about the things in fandom that make it such an unpleasant experience sometimes.

Mostly I thought about how you get to meet a lot of really incredible people in fandom.  But you also get to meet a lot of really mean people too.

There is no such thing as a person free from insecurity.  There’s really not.  We hide it, well at times, but it’s always there, looming, threatening our happiness.  But sometimes people hide their insecurity behind snark and meanness.  They like knocking people down because maybe if the people around them are wallowing in the mud they won’t feel so dirty.  We all know these people.  They are the people who mistake snark for wit.  They are the people who think a snide-remark can rebuild their self-esteem.  They are the people who hide behind anonymity or passive aggression and hope maybe we won’t notice.  We do.

These people are bullies, and they exist everywhere, even in fandom.

XMFC has its share of bullies (so does every fandom) and it’s a terrible thing because it means amazing, talented, creative people are constantly being bombarded by hate and unconstructive criticism and scrutiny and unfair judgement.  It means the people who are trying, who are putting their best face forward, who are working to shape something, to create something, get kicked and punched and beaten until they bleed.  It also means these same people feel as if they can’t reach out, because when you’re a victim of bullying, you mistake every face you see for a bully.  It breeds a culture of mistrust because often the only way to protect ourselves is build up walls.

It is far easier to destroy something than it is to create it.  And this is what bullies do.

I am 40 years old and I still run into bullies all the time.  I’ve run into bullies in this fandom and in previous fandoms and in real life, too.  They never go away.  But that doesn’t mean they have any power.

Because a bully only has power over you if you let them have it.

And yes, this is easier said than done, but there is something you can do to make it easier.  You can choose to live every minute of every day being a decent human being.  You can choose to never bully anyone, even when your insecurity makes you want to lash out, even when your self-doubt creeps up and you’re blinded by envy or jealousy.  You can choose to look in the mirror and see all of your potential, without any of your flaws, and then you can step back and say, “I am a better person, because I don’t need to knock someone down to make myself feel better.”  And when that bully does knock you down, you’ll know that no matter what they’ve said or what they’ve done, they are the ones wallowing in the mud, because even when you’re dirty, you stand above them.

Today I want to talk about mental illness and fandom

But it got kind of long, so I’m going to cut it, and that way you can skip it if you don’t want to hear me ramble aimlessly for 800 odd words.

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celluloidfloozy:

unforgott3n:

Pretty much this. Likes/dislikes are one thing, but telling authors to stop writing something is obnoxious in the extreme.

Agreed. The other day I got a message telling me the commenter was sick of submissive Charles and wished I would write something else. To which I was like ‘do you really think insulting my current project will encourage me to do what you want?’

(The answer is no, btw.)

^^^ All of this, including the confession.  What the fuck, fans?  You don’t like a trope/kink?  Fine, good for you, but you don’t get to tell people what they can and can’t read/write/like.

(Source: firstclassconfessions, via tahariels)

Do you remember the first time you found fandom?

Do you remember that moment when you realized you weren’t the only person obsessing over fictional characters?  And those stories you told in your head people actually put into words and called fanfiction.  Do you remember reading your first fic?  Do you remember the giddy glee of seeing that pairing that haunted your dreams made flesh on paper?  Do you remember feeling, perhaps for the first time in your life, connected to something bigger than yourself?

Isn’t fandom wonderful?